It’s Valentine’s Day. Most romantic day of the year, or a pile of steaming Hallmark claptrap? For some it’s a day of expectations and romance, for others feelings of contempt or loneliness. It’s only one day, it gets to have a brief appearance between other commercial performances like Christmas, selling made-in-China Australian flags for Australia Day and Easter (the fact that there are already Easter eggs in Woolies is something altogether terrifying). I’ve never really understood the significance that people place on one single day, where the events (supposedly) have the power to make or break relationships. That is not to say that I’ve never you know, been bitterly disappointed by the failure of a secret admirer to deliver a rose or soppy card to me in the middle of a class at school. This obviously, is an entirely realistic expectation according to most teen movies and The Babysitter’s Club.
Of course, for everlasting love and adoration, there’s always the option of owning a dog. Or cat. Or goldfish if you’re that way inclined, although my efforts have never been entirely successful (this is why I am not a fish vet). I have two adopted pooches, and Dusk in particular is nothing if not adoring. She loves nothing more than to be ON a human. Not just cuddled up next to, or resting a head loving on a knee – the closer and more inconvenient she can be the better. Lying on your chest while you try to sleep, stretching across both forearms while you’re trying to type…bonus points for licking faces before anyone can stop you. We frequently joke about how she has only 3 brain cells and they occasionally bump into each other in the ether. She lives for simple pleasures, well, maybe even only one – filling her belly. A mere mention of “Food” or “Chicken” or even “Kitchen” (which I can only assume sounds reminiscent of “chicken”) sends her off like a frog in a sock.
But honestly, what’s not to love about this face…
Back to relationships, if getting a pet isn’t going to work, then you could always try a self help book to improve the situation. I’m still not entirely sure what to think about the fact that my very own copy of that book came from MrIT’s mother… Speaking of MrIT, you could be forgiven for thinking that we don’t actually like each other all that much, given that I am a twisted, ruiner of worlds, with a crazy book fetish.
Apparently I am also a strange, messed up woman. Today, we were watching an early episode of Men Behaving Badly. In one particular scene, the two central characters are doing what grown men do in share housing – drinking beer while lazing on the couch watching TV. Apparently it’s inappropriate to laugh at the following dialogue, but I do anyway. Apparently, says MrIT, this is exactly something that I would say and do (because I am such a loving girlfriend). Apparently, this is not funny, as hilarious as I think it is.
Dorothy: So Tony, has Gary sapped all of your life spirit, alienated your friends and made you want to strangle him with an electric flex yet?
Tony: No?
Dorothy: No…no….well you haven’t been going out with him for 3 years have you.
Gary: (laughs nervously) Bit of the old banter, you know…
*Dorothy slaps Gary across the back of the head*
With that I will leave you with a thought provoking parting comment…
“The secret of a successful relationship is to become irretrievably embroiled in a bitter struggle to the death.”